It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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