Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
