when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
