it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
