I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
