Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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