Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
