omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize