From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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