Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
