I just pynch a tree in the face
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The ass gains better be worth it
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