Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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