Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
