It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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