During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have aggressive nipples.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize