Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's like God shit irony all over that family
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
