Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
