brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish my penis had an off switch
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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