My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
should my penis look like a turkey
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
