my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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