They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
