Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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