i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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