He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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