I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
