She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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