The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize