3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize