It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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