I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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