so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just forgot I was standing up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
