and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
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Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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