hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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