Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
