i just wanna soil my oats bro
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My breath smells like gin and sadness
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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