I just threw up on my dentist
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize