Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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