I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
