On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I can tuck mytits in my pants
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
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