All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So here I am, sexting at work.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
