do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
