i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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