I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
