it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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