He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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