i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
