Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
