I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
