I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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