If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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