I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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