doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
