No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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