Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
