I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
