Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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