I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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