once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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