ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
