Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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