You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
