$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
