he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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